Facing Racism: A Reality of the Black Experience

article originally posted here

It's weird, but I'm glad a racist called my teen son the N-word | Opinion

It's one of the most counterintuitive things about being a Black person in America. You know racism exists, but at the individual level, you ignore it.

Have you ever considered the possibility that a little racism could be a good thing?

I know, that was as crazy for me to type as it was for you to read.

But consider what happened to my 14-year-old son recently as he and three of his buddies were walking to a recreation center in Gilbert.

For context, my son is Black and his three friends are White.

Some grown man on a kid’s bicycle called my son the N-word. (In case you’re new here, I’d print that slur rather than sanitize it. If my son has to hear it, you should have to read it.)

But before my son could react, his three buddies started yelling at the guy, telling him where to shove it.

A racist meant this for harm, but it was good

Greg Moore's son (center) poses with friends who stood up to an adult who called him a racial slur - Provided by Greg Moore

The racist, who was White, followed the boys to the rec center, where they told the woman at the front desk what happened outside, and she confronted the guy. She’s also White.

The jerk pedaled off. I wasn’t there to see it, but I can imagine his knees up by his ears as he rode away on a bike built for teenager.

So, why is this a good thing?

Because my son knows exactly who he is, and there isn’t anything that anyone is going to call him that’s going to change that. He’s my son. More importantly, he’s a child of God.

The situation also gave his three friends a chance to step in and defend him.

It gave me a chance to reach out to each of their fathers to shake their hands and say how proud I was of their sons and how well they’re raising those boys. (I’m also grateful that they’re OK with me writing about this and running a photo of the kids.)

And it proves that racism is real to people looking for a reason to doubt. There are at least three families in our neighborhood who will never have to be convinced.

So, do you see? That bigot meant it for evil; but it ended up working out for good.

The counterintuitive part of being a Black person

You might wonder how I handled it as a father.

I asked my son to explain what happened. I asked how he was doing. And when I saw that he was OK, I let it go. (And this is my boy. If he were really upset and only pretending to be OK, I’d know it.)

It’s one of the most counterintuitive things about being a Black person in America.

You know racism exists. You know you get pulled over more often. You know when a hiring manager is simply not going to give you a job you’re qualified for. And you know you’re never going to be able to prove any of it with mathematical certainty.

But at the individual level, it’s usually best to ignore it. Focus on your work, on your greater purpose, and figure out how to get where you need to go in life despite the obstacles.

At the same time, it’s important for people like me to keep holding society accountable to make sure things improve for future generations.

We write about racism, talk about racism, think about racism and propose ways to eliminate racism, so that everyday people don’t have to.

Point out the problems. Praise the progress

Make no mistake, it’s risky for minorities to point out racial problems. They could get “whiteballed” like Colin Kaepernick, labeled a troublemaker like Muhammad Ali and marginalized like Curt Flood.

Oftentimes, it’s a wiser strategy for a Black, Latino or Native American person to keep quiet about an indignity rather than risk the job that feeds their family.

That reality makes it so much more important for elected officials, business leaders and journalists to say important things about race, especially when they’re hard to hear.

Anyway, I’m proud of my son, and his three friends and their parents.

And I’m optimistic to see how much better things can get in my lifetime — even if all the headlines point out ways things are getting worse.

It’s crazy to think about, but sometimes a little racism can be a good thing.

Reach Moore at gmoore@azcentral.com or 602-444-2236. Follow him on X, formerly Twitter, @SayingMoore.